I visited Adam’s sister’s new born baby yesterday. Their baby girl is a week old. She’s adorable (I guess?) in that weird newborn way that …like no newborns are really adorable. They are kind of ugly. That’s at least my opinion though. Newborns give me the heebiejeebies. Adam’s mom called me and said “Did seeing the baby make you want another one?” to which I replied, no, quite the contrary, however spending time with my own daughter DOES. Our daughter, who for the purpose of this blog we’ll call “Lamb” is over a year old and so much fun.
I dislike the way newborns move their faces around in weird ways. I dislike their uncoordinated tiny spastic hands. The sound of their cries. I really dislike how little they sleep and how much they eat. But, I know if I ever want another Lamb then I have to see newborns as a means to an end.
Just this weekend we were watching Daniel the Tiger and the breaking news is that Daniel the Tiger has a new baby sister now. Adam looked at me and said “When is Lamb going to get a little brother or sister?” I think he was joking just because we were watching the show, but then I wondered, does he really want another one? Clearly we have some issues that need to be worked on before we can even physically make another child.
Seeing this newborn little girl and her mother who looked like total shit (she did. Really, she did. I mean, lady just had a baby and baby has some feeding issues so I think it’s safe to say momma hasn’t slept at all in the last week). I of course told her she looked great but inside I was thinking, OH MY GOD I REMEMBER WHAT SHIT FEELS AND LOOKS LIKE. Thanks for the reminder. I do send her daily words of encouragement, sharing how hard it is and how she’s not alone. The worst thing about being a new mom is if you’re isolated and thinking every other new mom out there is in baby bliss.
It’s hard to even remember Lamb being that small. Well, technically she wasn’t ever that small. She was over 9lb. That’s 2lbs more than her new cousin. So when I hold a teeny tiny newborn I think, whoah this baby is TINY! I’ve been thinking a lot about how people get so sad when their babies grow. I think I’m finally ready for the clock to start slowing down. I’m really enjoying Lamb right now and I can safely say these days I don’t want her to get any older. I want to bottle her up just like this and cuddle her forever. I couldn’t have honestly said that about her at 4 weeks old. I was happy for the growth at that point. Now time can freeze.