My shoulders hurt yo

Lamb has become so clingy. I know it’s just a phase. I know one day I’ll be desperate for her to be clingy again as she pushes me away. But there are days when I think there might be fire coming out of my ears. On Sunday I’m pretty sure I heard the word “momma” about 8 billion times. I started to wonder why  my child had lost her ability to say any other word from her relatively good vocabularly. She even yelled MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA as I was carrying her up the stairs. SHE WAS IN MY ARMS. I mean, seriously? She also threw goldfish at me from her car seat. I can tell we’re getting closer to 2 every day.

Lamb started not wanting to go to bed anymore. She wanted me to hold her and would freak out if I left the room. After a night when it took 1.5 hours to get her to sleep, I decided to try a more firm and yet still gentle approach. I know she loves her bed. I know she’s capable of sleeping in her bed. I indulged her once when she got upset when I started to leave. I picked her up and hugged her tight for a long time. I told her, Lamb is going to go night night. Momma is going to go downstairs. And in the morning, we will cuddle. I told her this about 10 times in a row. She silently listened. Then I asked her, What is Lamb going to do? She responded “night night” and then I asked And what is momma going to do?  She responded “stairs.” So, I put her in her bed. She cried, I walked out. She cried for about 5-10 minutes then stopped. The next night it was only a brief 10 second protest.

I also bought her the OK to Wake clock, which glows green in the morning at a time that I’ve set. I have set it to 6:15 am. I feel that’s an appropriate time. I’m not entirely sure how to train her. I’m not in the camp of completely leaving her in her crib to cry until it turns on (sometimes she wakes at 5:45), but I did put her in the adult bed in her room and laid with her in the dark until the light came on, giving her no verbal attention. I reinforce when she sleeps until the light comes on. I also talk about it a lot too. I think it might work. I’ll report back.

But the clinginess. The 100% mom show is making my back ACHE. Girl weighs over 28lbs. It’s hard to carry her around all the time. I know I’ll long for a day when I can hold her again, and so I tell myself that. But sometimes momma just needs a 1 hour break!!!! (and I do get one, at work, 40 hours a week).

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6 thoughts on “My shoulders hurt yo

  1. This age is so bipolar! Their little brains are doing so much. My son is two in a week, gah! I recently night weaned. I had heard of that clock but I hadn’t thought about it for this little. My son wants to get up before 6 even though he is still so tired. His sleep is better than it was but not great. I like how you repeated it over and over and made her tell you too. But 5 minutes of crying and my kid would probably throw up. I give him choices when he needs help falling back asleep like I can sit and rock him or he can lie down in his bed with his froggy and water bottle. No more nursing to sleep for about a week now! Hang in there and she will get through this growth spurt.

    • I had to do a major sleep intervention when my daughter turned a year old. For the first year of her life, she woke up probably no fewer than 2 times a night (but most night sit was closer to 5-9 times), every single night (with maybe a rare occasion in there). I never let her cry much because she would become so upset and crying never led to her settling down and sleeping. She slept in her crib but I slept in a bed in her room because she woke so frequently. She would always need me to help her get back to sleep. I tried CIO once but she cried for 45 minutes straight (and vomited) and I said NEVER again. She clearly had a lot of separation anxiety.
      At a year, I felt she was old enough to understand some basic instructions about sleep and expectations. What I also experienced was that when she would wake at night, me holding her would not help her go back to sleep. She’d be so restless. So, she’d wake, but have no way of getting back to sleep and then just be crying and awful, and she would toss and turn in the bed with me. So, I had to figure out something.
      I basically set the expectation (through lots of simple repeated explanation) that she was going to stay in her crib no matter what, but that I wouldn’t leave her side. I stayed next to the crib and kept laying her back down in her crib. The first night was rough, but I never left her to cry alone. I even hugged her to calm her down while she was standing in her crib. The second night was way easier, and the third was effortless. She started sleeping through the night most nights although she’d need an occasional comfort in the middle of the night, I’d oblige. I would have to sit in the bed in her room though while she fell asleep. Eventually, she didn’t even need me to sit in the room!! I could just walk out. I thought that would never happen.
      But I think recently she’s feeling some separation anxiety again as well as realizing that she can voice her opinion!
      One thing that’s been helping is Adam has been getting her baby doll and laying her baby doll in Lamb’s crib and saying “night night baby. The baby is asleep. Shhhh. Lamb can go night night with the baby in the bed.” Lamb seems to like that a lot.
      Also, the night I had let her cry 5-10 minutes, she’d already been crying a lot because I thought if I stayed in the room with her, and just waited on the bed for her to fall asleep that she would. But that was worse. She was angry that I was there and not letting her play. Which is why we finally had the conversation and I walked out.

      I am a strong believer that every kid is VERY different and will respond to things in different ways. You know your kid best and have to take things at your own pace. I feel like Lamb is very sensitive and I need to respond to her emotional needs.
      Lamb woke up again super early today but she laid quiet in the bed with me until the clock turned on.
      Congrats on getting your son night weaned!!!

  2. There is such a wide range of normal for kids sleep and development. I was finally able to get wallace to sleep off of me at 16 months. I feel really strongly about talking to kids and explaining things to them. It has helped a ton! I started learning about RIE a year ago and that helped me to understand that it is not only okay but healthy for babies to express their emotions.

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