Perspective Changes

So, remember how I wrote about Adam’s sister getting preggers with her 2nd child, and how I just felt envious of the significance of that pregnancy for their marriage?

Well, I decided to invite her over for a play date. We had a great time. Her son and my daughter had a blast together. The time we spent together was rather enlightening, and instead of feeling envious of her situation, I actually began to feel a little sad for her situation.

It was Saturday. Her husband had been gone since Tuesday (he owns a company that stores people’s planes and he is a pilot so he will fly people around on their private jets). I asked her when she expected him back and she said maybe Tuesday and then she noted “I pretty much expect him to be gone all this month.”

They live in a gated community on the outskirts of a suburb of the big city (about 30-45 minutes away from my house in the city). I noted that it must be hard having her husband gone a lot. She stays home with her kid, so I asked her if she ever got to go see her step sister and spend time with her since her step sister lives in the city. She said no, they didn’t get together much. I then pretty much asked her who she hangs out with and she essentially said no one. Sounds like she doesn’t have any friends close by and not much going on. Isolated in a big pretty house in gated community with husband who is never around. And when he is, he is apparently also working on flipping a house as well, so I assume when he’s home he’s working on that. Sounds like he’s rather absent.

I saw her again this Sunday, and she mentioned her husband was STILL out of town. He’d come back for 1 night and then left again for another week. Sounds like the pits to me. Pregnant with a 10 month old and no help.

I decided to invite her up to my parent’s country house for a weekend sometime soon so we could hang out with the kids. I know how important it is for my sanity to hang out with other moms. I’m trying to reach out to her so she doesn’t feel so isolated. We’ll see how this all develops.

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5 thoughts on “Perspective Changes

  1. Wow that doesn’t sound like a great marriage. I wouldn’t be happy in that. Why doesn’t she hang out with friends more? Including her is nice and maybe it will be good for her.

      • Some people don’t know how to get out there and make new friends. It is really hard as an adult! I don’t work with other adults, don’t have a partner, and my friends I used to have here aren’t being friends. I was in a neighborhood mom’s group on facebook and I was the only single, not straight, and not well off person. I go to LLL and BWI meetings and the park and kid’s events and revel in the one time conversations.

  2. I’m glad you had a good play date and were able to change your perspective a little, it sounds like you may have a good situation growing here. It is so hard to be alone with your kid all the time.

    • I agree Robin. I know that I rarely feel envious or annoyed of those I am closest to, so I think the solution is to try to develop a strong relationship with her. Even if she does get Botox and only just turned 30 🙂

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