Where do I start?

So, I spoke with my friend about what was going on at daycare. She said the teacher she spoke to, let’s call her Nancy, filled her in on some stuff.

  • The incident in which my friend’s 2.5 year old was allegedly hit by the teacher (we’ll call the teacher Mary), we have a little more information. Nancy walked in to the class room to find the 2.5 year old crying very hard, and Mary just walking away from him like she didn’t care (not comforting the child/apologizing or anything). The child said “Mary hit me.” At that time, Mary didn’t say anything she just ignored it and walked away. Later that day, Mary said “I accidentally hit him with the chair when I was moving it.” The daycare had called CPS, and called the mom (my friend). My friend asked her son that night “so, you accidentally got hit with a chair today by Mary?” and her kid said “no, she hit me with her hand, on purpose.”  CPS did come and investigated (for some reason interviewed the kid WITHOUT his parent present), and found no violation because the kid didn’t say anything at that time. Well, it had been 2 weeks.

Other reported instances:

  • Nancy walked in to the class room at naptime to find another kid crying very hard by his mat, with Mary sitting next to him. He said Mary hit him and his ear/face was red. The parents met with the director of the school and the action taken was to move the kid away from Mary’s class and move him up to the next class.
  • A new teacher in the class with Mary observed Mary tell a (2.5-3yr old) girl “don’t touch that.” When the girl reached her hand out again like she was going to touch it, Mary slapped/hit the girl’s hand away.
  • The same new teacher witnessed Mary holding a child who did not want to be held. He was being disobedient/being dead weight. Mary threatened the child and said “If you don’t stop, I am going to drop you.” and when the child didn’t stop, she dropped the child who fell to the ground on the hallway floor.  ***this incident was reported to CPS also and it WAS founded by CPS and listed as a violation

Nancy is leaving the school because she is upset that administration has not removed Mary from the school. Supposedly Mary’s husband works at the school (it’s a church that has a daycare, btw) as a janitor. Nancy thinks that the reason they haven’t removed Mary is because Mary is a church member and has been for a long time and might be friends with some of administrative staff. Perhaps the church is saying things like “oh, I’m sure Mary didn’t do that,” etc etc

So, what now?

Well, my friend whose son was allegedly hit is setting up a meeting with the Director to meet in person and suggest that Mary be removed from the school. (this won’t happen until the week after next as the director is on vacation). I told her to bring the e-mail that I had sent to my friend on May 22nd before any of this stuff had come out. This is what I had written in the e-mail:

Oh, I have been meaning to ask you a question. So, the teacher in the older 2’s class, Ms Mary? (is that her name). Does anyone like her? It was really interesting, see I drop Lamb off on Mondays and Tuesdays early around 7:20am. The rest of the week Adam drops her off after 8am. So on Mondays/Tuesdays she goes to the older 2’s in the morning, and usually there are NO OTHER kids in there at all! Maybe Sara. No one else. And I remember in toddler 2, lots of kids were dropped off early (they would be dropped off in toddler 1 classroom). So I thought, what happened?! Is that just random or is there something to it? I know Ms Mary isn’t super warm and excited as the other teachers, but ….. just wondered if there was some reason no one is ever there with her early. Poor Lamb doesn’t have a choice! 

I figure that is pretty good support that I ALREADY thought something was weird with this teacher. Now, what do I do? My kid has regular interactions, sometimes for several hours a day, with Mary. Do I feel like my kid is in direct immediate danger? Not really. I mean, I’m worried about the situation in general. I’m pissed. This is ridiculous. A woman like her, who clearly is not happy with her job, should not be in that position.

Do I switch schools? If they remove Mary do I stay? I certainly will be asking the director to remove Mary. Lamb really likes her school. My experiences have been very positive in all other regards, but this is pretty terrible.



4 thoughts on “Where do I start?

  1. I would be concerned about Lamb being on contact with this woman. There are too many strikes against her and your gut was already picking up on something. I would write a letter to the director explaining your concern and stating that you will be removing your child from the school if the teacher in question is not removed. With how CPS works, if this woman was found to have abused a child in her care then she would have her teaching license revoked (if she has one) and no longer be allowed to work with children in this capacity. With the teacher witness I would be very concerned.

  2. Another thought I had is that the teacher who is leaving must be really concerned for the state of affairs at the daycare to leave without a new job and to not be staying and pushing for the teacher to be removed.

  3. I wouldn’t have my child come in contact with the woman if I could help it. How would you feel if you came to pick up your daughter and found out that she’d been slapped?
    In your previous post you mentioned the idea of hiring the teacher that was leaving to take care of your daughter and your friends child. Is that still an option?

  4. Mo says:

    Urgh. That really is awful, I’m so sorry.
    I can’t say I’ve had a similar situation with Bunny’s daycare center – it wasn’t nearly this alarming, but I’m moving her to a new one in September because there were several incidents in which the management was dishonest. Her teachers are great and she loves them, and they haven’t done anything wrong, but the moment that trust was broken I no longer felt that she was in safe hands. I have no choice but to stick it out until September, but I can tell you that since that trust has been broken with management, even though I trust her teachers, I freak out each time Bunny acts strangely or doesn’t want to be dropped off.
    At the end of the day, do what your gut tells you. There are things that get broken that can’t be fixed. If nothing else, there is clear dishonesty at work here from the management, and a bad sense of priorities (kids should come first, of course). That doesn’t mean Lamb is in danger, so if you want to pull her, you’re probably ok taking your time with finding someplace new. But moving her someplace else makes perfect sense in my view.

    Good luck!

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