Well we got a letter saying the teacher in question had resigned. I suppose they gave her the option. I am still really pissed at the head of the school committee who was clearly the one fighting for this teacher to stay. I don’t interact with her though and had never met her besides this meeting.
Yesterday I was hanging out at my parent’s house with Lamb. My brother, his wife, and their three kids were staying at my parents house while having some work done on their own house. My 4 year old niece started asking me some questions. My niece goes to like a mother’s day out program 2 x a week and her mom is a stay at home mom.
Niece: Can you guys have a sleep over here tonight?
Me: No, we can’t. We have to go back to our house tonight.
Me: Well, Lamb is going to school tomorrow and I am going to work tomorrow.
Niece: Why does Lamb have to go to school tomorrow?
Me: Because I’m going to work and Lamb needs to be taken care of when I’m gone.
Niece: Do you go to work every day?
Niece: Do you ever get to stay home with Lamb? Doesn’t she miss you?
Me: Sure, I take vacation sometimes and days off..
Niece: Why do you have to go to work every day? To make lots of money and buy expensive things?
Me: Well, I do work so we can put food on the table and pay our bills. But I don’t just work for money. I work because I like what I do.
Niece: What do you do?
Me: I’m a counselor. I try to help people.
Niece: How do you help them?
Me: Well, sometimes they feel sad or they are having problems. I help them figure out how to find solutions to their problems or help make them feel better.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kids. kids and their questions that make your heart hurt sometimes. So I miss my baby. I miss her growing up. I hate being gone away from her so much.
But then, days like yesterday, I kind of have these moments where I want to pull my hair out and think, you drive me CRAZY little toddler! She’s so clingy sometimes. I wonder if her clinginess is in part due to her not getting to spend enough time with me. Or maybe it’s just her personality. Or maybe a little of both. So slap on the mom guilt now that I’m going to be home 1- 1.5 hours later than usual on Mondays and Wednesdays as I go to my work out class (we signed up at the gym btw). Ugh. I really wish I could just work Mon/Wed/Friday. Maybe that can happen at some point.
So, I decided to potentially stay at my job for now. You all know I’ve had a lot of angst about staying here. It does allow me SOME flexibility being that one of my best friends is technically my direct supervisor, so it’s really not a problem if I take vacation here and there or sick days here and there. Also, leaving 10 minutes early to make it to the gym Mondays and Wednesdays isn’t a problem either.
The other reason for staying is that we may be getting this new grant in September. This new grant would allow me to get amazing training on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and be trained with one of the big wig founders for that type of therapy (possibly). So, I’m waiting to hear about that. It’s the type of therapy I would like to do with clients if I moved into private practice, so becoming a stronger therapist in that regard would be worth the wait. We’ll see.
but still. so much angst.