Meh

I know I write about Adam’s sister a lot. I guess I just don’t have much else of an outlet. I know that envy is a reflection of internal insecurities. And as I’ve mentioned before, I envy parts of what she has but not everything.

But can I just say, um, jaw drop. That she texted me the other day that they had “bought a plot” of land in a ritzy area of town. Why a plot of land? Because no house is good enough for her husband. Right now, they live about 30-45 miles outside the city. They want to move in to the city. So, I look up the address of this “lot.” It’s less than a mile of where her mom lives, and it’s in a very ritzy part of town. And the asking price for this “lot”? $998k.  Yes, nearly 1 million dollars. ONE MILLION DOLLARS. AND THEY ARE GOING TO BUILD A FUCKING CUSTOM HOUSE ON THAT ONE MILLION DOLLAR PLOT OF LAND.

I guess that’s why when she said they were trying to “save money to buy a house”, his purchase of a $100k car for her was not something he second guessed.

WTF people. WTF. She’s 30 years old. Granted her husband is 45 but still.

And, they’re moving in that area because they want to send their kids to the private school in that area (the public school there is fantastic of course, but no kid of theirs will go to a public school).

I don’t know. It’s just weirding me out. Why does money weird me out so much? I mean, I suppose money has always been important to my dad. He talks about money a lot. He didn’t come from much money but he did very well for himself and budgeted and penny pinched and now he and my mom have tons. But still, they don’t live a super extravagant life. My grandfather was like that (my mom’s mom). He had a ridiculous amount of money but they lived in the same house that they bought in 1950. He drove an old car. They rarely did extravagant things. They helped pay for my education and that stuff. But you know, they weren’t showy. So maybe that’s it? The showiness of it that I dislike or have been brought up to find as poor taste?

It’s weird to think, that on Adam’s side of the family we’ll be the “poorest” couple. Out of 5 married couples, we’ll be the poorest. And we’re not poor. Adam is in the IT world. But maybe it’s my own guilt over my own chosen career path in counseling that makes me feel awful? Like, I should be contributing much more to the pot? Instead I’m lolly gagging around expecting my spouse to do most of the supporting? Okay, yeah I just realized Adam’s sister doesn’t work and won’t. Okay so she really does no supporting. But all the other women in the family have great jobs and probably make close to six figures.

So, here I am, comparing myself. That’s clearly what I’m doing. I should probably just delete this whole post because it sounds whiny. I still toss back and fourth trying to figure out what I want to do. I want to work part time but I don’t know if that’s financially feasible. I want answers to all my questions but I just don’t have any. I feel stuck a lot of the time. I want to be financially independent should I ever need to fend for myself and take care of my daughter.

I know I just need to focus on my bubble and not worry so much about other things. Alas, it’s kind of hard when you get a text about a million dollar lot. *wink*

At least today I am going to the gym! Going to do some push ups.

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6 thoughts on “Meh

  1. robin says:

    Out of all of my husband’s friends back where he grew up we are among the “poorest.” Among most of our friends in this neighborhood I’d say we are in the middle range. Among other sets of friends we are definitely the highest income. It’s interesting to be in different spots along that continuum depending on who we are with. But certainly when we go back to visit his friends and they have their large houses in expensive neighborhoods with live-in nannies, etc, it makes me feel weird. Though it’s not really the same as family, and I don’t compare us to them (much), except when they all got pregnant the same year we started trying and didn’t .. but anyway, the moms are mostly lawyers and doctors, the dads are also lawyers and doctors, they earn a ton of money, they go on fancy vacations. I don’t know how to end this thought, haha, so.

    • hah. I am laughing at how you were like, I don’t know how to end this thought. That’s ok. I appreciate any thoughts 🙂 Even ones without proper endings.
      Yes money is weird and life is definitely easier with it but it’s not everything. My mom had a valid point and she said “I wish your dad had rich brothers.” (his brothers are struggling with a lot right now, and their lack of fiances are making it very very challenging). So, yeah. I don’t know how to end this thought either!

  2. Woah. That is crazy. I have issues with the big showy consumerism and this need to have bigger, newer, better everything. I don’t know how to interact with people who are like that. I value time with people, my son, etc way more than cars, houses, cable, the latest iphone. I would love to have enough and be self sufficient with a little wiggle room and savings.

  3. We are putting our house up for sale this week because we are not able to save much money with the amount of mortgage. It’s been two years and we’ve realized we are paying for a house that is a premium, and we are not premium people. Our last house was $180,000, and this house is 324,000. I was much happier in our last house in our un-snobbish neighborhood. Remember, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes an inexpensive house, or an apartment, or living in your parents basement, will feel more like home than a million dollar house. You are an amazing person, and your baby girl is also amazing. You will always be able to take care of her, as long as you remember that she is the most important thing, not the amount of your mortgage. 🙂

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