Your wish is my command

Well HELLO Aunt Flow. Thanks for waking up with me this morning and silently staining the couch!! That was an awesome welcome back entrance. Can’t say I’m looking forward to our time together but also happy to know you’re around.

Advertisements

Day 28

So, it’s been 28 days since I had the Mirena taken out. Still no aunt flow showing up. Not too concerned though since my cycles are usually 40 + days long. I am hoping that this pimple on my chin and my insane craving for chocolate and general malaise is a sign that maybe aunty flow will show up. Though, so not looking forward to it. I know for anyone actually struggling with having a normal period would be so happy to have aunt flow show up, so I can’t complain too much. But I have enjoyed a red free last 2.5 years, or almost more if you consider my time during pregnancy.

I guess me being the planner that I am, I’m just wanting to start figuring out when things might possibly be happening. And that won’t happen until the “reset button” occurs.

We had a wonderful, though exhausting, Christmas holiday. 5 family celebrations that went Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. But Friday I had a headache and just wanted to pass out. Lamb enjoyed all the fun but she is definitely partied out. We had to go to my nephew’s birthday yesterday and she started crying in the car when we got there saying “I want to go home, I want to go home.” I think we’ve just been around too many people. I felt the same way. I wanted to go home.

I’m only working 2 half days this week so I’m planning lots of fun activities to do with Lamb. And then on New Years day I drive to another city to see one of my best friend’s and her 4 month old kid who I haven’t met yet. And that means a hotel night ALL TO MYSELF. I am kind of stoked about that.

Also on the horizon is a trip to… DIzNEYWORLD. It’s kind of happening totally last minute. We were going to head to LA to see one of my other best friends, but we ended up deciding that if we were going to do Disney, we’d do it proper. I’d go visit my friend by myself another time, rather than dragging my husband with me.

Dizneyworld is like one of my favorite places ever, minus the $$$. We are going to go during the week, a Mon-Friday so hopefully the crowds will be light. I’m also hoping Lamb will do well on the rides and not freak out, because that would really really  put a damper on things if she’s cared of It’s a small world… hahahah. Fingers crossed. I’m thinking 4 nights.  We found super cheap flights. SUPER CHEAP FLIGHTS. Like, $75 round trip flights. Merry Christmas to me.

I’m super excited because this would be our family vacation and we haven’t really taken one. We had to go to Belize last year for a family wedding and that was just an expensive disaster. This would be one were Lamb would actually enjoy, and hopefully ALL of us would enjoy. I know I know, she won’t remember it, but she won’t remember ANY family vacation we go on so why not at least do something that I really want to do and she would like too? We’re making it happen! I also love that it’s so last minute because that means we don’t have to wait long! woohoo!

 

Living it up

So it’s only been 17 days since my IUD removal. I still haven’t gotten a period yet, but that’s not really weird to me considering my normal cycles are 40 days long. I can’t tell if my libido has increased because of the iud removal, or because of other factors. Probably a combination of both. But I can say we are having awesome sex when before we were well, not having any.

Other factors they may be contributing to this:

Adam has been taking the monitor at night so that when Lamb wakes up, he handles all the wake ups (since he’s ALREADY AWAKE downstairs working). Generally she only wakes up 1x a night to pee, but she has been sick for a few weeks with cold/ear infection, and he’s handled a majority of those wake ups. I am getting so much sleep these days that I don’t know what to do with myself. I have energy and happiness and I’m not so irritable.

Because I moved my hours to only 30 hours a week and I take Lamb to daycare every morning, Adam is able to sleep during the times that his body prefers to be asleep (5am-10am).

We’re trying to do more, as a family. Yesterday Adam suggested after he got home from running that we all go out and look at Christmas lights (because, YES! I LOVE THAT!, and Lamb had been asking to). We decided to get her some ice cream on the way too. Lamb was super happy which you know, makes us happy. And in general I’m happy, it’s holiday season. That just makes me happy. Doing more fun things makes us feel more connected which makes me feel more loving toward my husband which leads to more intimacy.

I’d like to say it’s also because we know that it might lead to a baby (sort of like a goal), but that’s NOT it, because we’re using protection right now because I really don’t want to get pregnant until at least February/March. One of my best friends got engaged, and her wedding is at the end of October and she wants me to be a bridesmaid. She also lives in another state . And, she just found out (last week) that her dad has stomach/esophageal cancer. So…  ugh yeah.

Additionally, because things are going so well right now, I really want to live it up. I want to enjoy this intimacy, the fun, etc. I’m not in a rush to just throw it all away by having another baby =P there goes 2 more years of hell after that. Of course I’m talking like it’s going to be super easy to get pregnant again and that it will just happen the first month etc, when statistics say that is unlikely.

I’d really like to try to get some additional date nights in, go out to eat, drink some wine (me only since Adam doesn’t drink), see a movie.. etc. Live up life while life is easy to live you know? Multiple kids seriously complicates things.

Anyway, just thought I’d share the good news.

 

Mirena withdrawal

I was curious as to any side effects I might experience after removing the IUD. I had some light bleeding this morning and some this evening. Today I got that sudden dizzy headache that I usually get right before my period starts. I’ve also been craving chocolate like, insane (even more than typical), and last night I went out and bought a bottle of Bailey’s because…mmmmmmm.

During Jazzercise this evening I had a sudden bout of complete and total exhaustion. Like, I almost wanted to walk out of class. It was more than just, wow this is  a tough work out. This was like, ugh, my arms feel limp. I just don’t even know if I can do the slightest movement right now. I completed the class and all, but it was hard. I started thinking, dear lord, is this how it feels when you are 50? 60? 70? So hard to do anything? There are so many women in my class between the age of 50 and 70, and I had a huge new found respect for them. hah

Finally I read on the Mirena website how it all works, as far as pregnancy prevention and it all started to make sense. It supposedly thickens your cervical mucus and keeps you from building up any uterine lining. But it doesn’t stop ovulation. This would all make 100% complete sense to me since a) I haven’t had a period in the last 2.5 years. b) I still got cerivcal mucus like my typical ovluation clockwork (every 5-6 weeks), and it was super thick and crazy and like, more mucus than I had ever seen in my life except it WAS thick and jelly like and wow. ANYWAY. It’s all making sense now, and I’m hopeful that since it never interrupted ovulation, that things will just continue on as normal and this year I’ll be able to get pregnant. Holy shit am I really writing those words? clearly I need to go back and read my blog from the first year after having a baby……….  it’s like you know what you are writing is insane. Like, I see the insanity and part of me is like WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING YOU CRAZY WOMAN STOP IT YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT WAS AND HOW DEPRESSED YOU WERE AND TIRED AND YOU DIDN’T SLEEP FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. AND YOU HATED EVERYTHING AND YOU ARE GOING TO HATE IT AGAIN EXCEPT THIS TIME IT’S GOING TO BE WORSE BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TWO KIDS AND YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK AND WHY WHY WHY RUIN A GOOD THING

DON’T PUT THAT STRAW ON THE CAMEL’S BACK!!!!!

but that weird hormonal la de da part of me is like, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh it will be hard, yes of course, but it’s worth it, you’ll never actually regret having a second kid. A 7th perhaps, yes, but a 2nd? you will be glad you went through the hard stuff in the end.

 

And I realize that as I write this I am a) assuming that I will get pregnant and things will go well, and b) totally grateful that I have the gift to make that decision as I know so many people out there who have to move mountains in order to get pregnant or birth a child. And so, it seems petty in my eyes to be complaining about the pros and cons of having a second. So ,there’s my apology there.

 

And there’s this whole thing about having to actually HAVE sex on a regular basis to have a kid….   that small speed bump…

The Eagle has Left the Nest

Well yesterday I saw my OBGYN and removed the Mirena. (ouch  btw, ouch. Those friggin cramps afterward were horrible for an hour and pain radiating down my leg… but I went to Jazzercise and that made everything feel better). I feel fine today, though I’ve read about a possible hormone crash so I am bracing myself.

I talked to my doc about my fears about having a c-section. He said there’s a 60% chance I would have another, meaning, he’s clearly open to a VBAC. I know I’m getting way ahead of myself, but if I end up getting pregnant then I think I would still schedule a c-section close to my due date, but if I go into labor sooner try a VBAC? I don’t really want another 42 week long pregnancy ending in a 26 hour labor and then a c-section. That was awful.

He also said they could put me completely out during the c-section or give me a sedative to help me. I’m hoping to have to do neither because, those side effects are awful. He said they would be doing a spinal block, which is better than the epidural.

Aside from that, it’s weird talking to my husband and him  being so comfortable about having a second. I mean, there doesn’t seem like there is so much hesitation in his voice. I think I feel more hesitant, but talking about it out loud makes it easier for me to conceptualize something that seems like SUCH A A STUPID IDEA. hah

I have really been enjoying sleeping through the night and feeling good. Oh, and on that note, Lamb is back in pull-ups for night time. A few weeks ago she just started wetting the bed like 2 times a night. Previously, she would wake up to pee but she started sleeping harder I guess and just not even knowing she was doing it. So, back into pull-ups she went because changing the bed and her clothes 1-2 times every night was upsetting her (And us). She’s only 2.5 now so I’m not really concerned. She has absolutely zero daytime accidents. She still wakes up maybe 1 time a night (sometimes zero) to use the potty. It is making life much easier. Adam is taking the monitor at night now when he is working downstairs, and I get a full night’s sleep with zero interruptions.

I’ve been doing part time photography on the side now, which is keeping me ridiculously busy. In fact, I have scheduled 18 mini sessions in November/December. I edit photos with every free second that I get. I am looking forward to the holidays  being over, but I am also excited for a business that seems to be doing really well. I just need to charge more 🙂

So, back to the whole Mirena thing. I’m curious when I’ll get a period and curious how things will go after that. Part of me wants to start trying right away (i mean, not immediately, but after my first cycle), and then the other part of me wants to wait until April to try because…. a) going through the holidays with a newborn?! UGH~!!!!!!!!!! and b) going through the holidays looking like crap because I just had a baby?! UGH!! I’d much rather be giant and pregnant through next Christmas and give birth in January….. but that means waiting, possibly, or getting started early to increase our chances of conceiving in April… heck. There goes the whole “plan it all out in your head” anxiety that really just needs to stop.

Anyway, I’ll report back on the after affects of removing the Mirena. *shudder* it was just not a fun removal. I mean, it was fast but having that speculum put in and dilated and then pulling the thing out was just, bleh. I didn’t enjoy it when they put it in either. I guess the 2.5 years in between was nice… not having to pay for tampons, or birth control pills, and having no periods. I enjoyed that part of it.  Not looking forward to my Aunt Flow.