7 weeks

The sickies. Oiye the sickies. I am grateful for this pregnancy  but damn the smell sensitivity, breast sensitivity, and emotional sensitivity. I feel like I am walking through a world of intense aromas. Like, everything is heightened x 1,000 and it makes me feel sick every time I smell something.

Goodness just last week I was finishing up a trauma assessment with a client in my office. The client smokes cigarettes & marijuana all day every day, and she reeked of it. As we were writing her trauma account together (very sensitive thing) I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I actually had to stop and tell the client I felt sick and I needed to leave and I would get my colleague to come in and finish the assessment. I ran to my friend in the office next door and told her she had to finish up with this client and I walked to the bathroom and just sat there feeling ill. I hadn’t eaten enough and that contributed, plus the god awful smells. Oh the smells. Working with substance abusing clients (mostly very low SES, in a hot humid weather when they have to take public transportation) is not pleasant when your sense of smell is heightened.

Second, I figured out what my breasts feel like. They feel like they are horribly bruised. Like every inch of them is a giant sore bruise, and on top of that, it’s like they are being injected like water  balloons and stretched to the max. So a water balloon filling up sore bruise. It hurts. I have shrieked out loud on several occasions when my daughter has hit them on accident. And it scares her when I do, because I never yell out like that.

Emotional sensitivity. I’m just exhausted, physically and emotionally. I have my hands in too many pots right now.

Just since Friday, this is what I’ve done:

Friday went to work, did a photo shoot that afternoon, made dessert for the bridal shower I was throwing the next day, attended the bridal shower, did a photo shoot Sunday morning, had to go pick up cat traps for this spay/neuter cat organization I volunteer with and delivery traps to my aunt as well as coordinate pick up from my house from the people who wanted to borrow them, e-mail my private practice clients, and edit the photos that I also took at the bridal shower. IT’S TOO MUCH.

And this Friday I leave for South Carolina for the bachlorette party. The last thing I feel like doing right now is getting on a plane.

Anyway, T minus 7 days til the ultrasound and we find out what’s really happening. Until then, I will exist in this constant state of queasiness and exhaustion. Worth it for sure, grateful for sure, and uncomfortable for sure.



Feel like I’m coming down with something

Last night my throat felt drippy and my ears felt full. Today I feel achey, my neck and shoulders hurt and  I have a sore throat. I hate being sick. My kid never leaves me alone when I’m sick. She is 10000000% more clingy when I am sick. I hope whatever this is that it passes soon.

T minus 2 weeks til the ultrasound. Yay.

My boobs are still so sensitive I want to scream if anything brushes against them. Smells are making me feel sick to my stomach and there is just a general sense of blah. A little nauseous but not terrible. I just generally have to eat to feel better. Eat frequently. Of course not the things I should be eating. Although for some reason peaches and bananas have been awesome lately so I’m going with it.

I really wish I had a Guinness beer right now.

I went shopping for some new swimsuits yesterday. My current one is tight (because I have gained weight). I scored a sweet deal because the two swimsuits I found (identical copies of each other, just in two different sizes, one bigger) were on super duper clearance. So I bought them both. One that fits now and another that I can grow into. Won’t hold me at 8 months but it should do for the next several. Because we have a pool and hot tub at my parent’s place in the country and my daughter ONLY wants to swim like 24/7… I figured I needed to be able to wear some kind of swim suit. Last pregnancy I don’t think I got in a swimsuit even once. This time around with a toddler it’s different.


19 more days

Just 19 more days until that first ultrasound. 19 more days, 1 bridal shower, 1 bachelorette trip, and a few photo sessions. I can do it. I can get there.

Today I had lunch with mom which was nice since I haven’t seen her for the last month sine she and my dad have been traveling. She expressed how excited she was about the baby and how it’s hard her her not to think about it.

I’m so cautiously optimistic. I can’t think of it as real until we get that first ultrasound and everything is okay. I can’t be super excited or think about really anything until we get there. I’m sure a lot of that is self-protective, so I am not as devastated if it doesn’t work out.

I remember that feeling the first time of wanting to be induced into a coma until ultrasound day.

I’m really trying hard to lose some weight. Except for today when I went to the ice cream shop and had a bowl of ice cream. eeeeeeeeeeeeesh. But other than that I’m trying to keep my calories around 1500 per day, and trying to burn up to 2,000 calories a day. Nothing insane. It’s no perfect math or anything. I did some research and found out that losing weight during pregnancy can actually be beneficial. (I am 168 pounds, about 8 pounds heavier than I was during my first pregnancy). According to the BMI scales I’m about 20-25 lbs overweight. So I’m not looking to drop down into the healthy weight range or anything, but a nice slow steady weight loss would be great. I know once the 2nd trimester gets here that’s a whole other story but I’m trying. Trying to be healthy. Trying to stay active. Reduce my risk of gestational diabetes and everything else not fun.

P.S. Plus gotta fit in that damn bridesmaids dress. (here it is in the dressing room).