The sickies. Oiye the sickies. I am grateful for this pregnancy but damn the smell sensitivity, breast sensitivity, and emotional sensitivity. I feel like I am walking through a world of intense aromas. Like, everything is heightened x 1,000 and it makes me feel sick every time I smell something.
Goodness just last week I was finishing up a trauma assessment with a client in my office. The client smokes cigarettes & marijuana all day every day, and she reeked of it. As we were writing her trauma account together (very sensitive thing) I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I actually had to stop and tell the client I felt sick and I needed to leave and I would get my colleague to come in and finish the assessment. I ran to my friend in the office next door and told her she had to finish up with this client and I walked to the bathroom and just sat there feeling ill. I hadn’t eaten enough and that contributed, plus the god awful smells. Oh the smells. Working with substance abusing clients (mostly very low SES, in a hot humid weather when they have to take public transportation) is not pleasant when your sense of smell is heightened.
Second, I figured out what my breasts feel like. They feel like they are horribly bruised. Like every inch of them is a giant sore bruise, and on top of that, it’s like they are being injected like water balloons and stretched to the max. So a water balloon filling up sore bruise. It hurts. I have shrieked out loud on several occasions when my daughter has hit them on accident. And it scares her when I do, because I never yell out like that.
Emotional sensitivity. I’m just exhausted, physically and emotionally. I have my hands in too many pots right now.
Just since Friday, this is what I’ve done:
Friday went to work, did a photo shoot that afternoon, made dessert for the bridal shower I was throwing the next day, attended the bridal shower, did a photo shoot Sunday morning, had to go pick up cat traps for this spay/neuter cat organization I volunteer with and delivery traps to my aunt as well as coordinate pick up from my house from the people who wanted to borrow them, e-mail my private practice clients, and edit the photos that I also took at the bridal shower. IT’S TOO MUCH.
And this Friday I leave for South Carolina for the bachlorette party. The last thing I feel like doing right now is getting on a plane.
Anyway, T minus 7 days til the ultrasound and we find out what’s really happening. Until then, I will exist in this constant state of queasiness and exhaustion. Worth it for sure, grateful for sure, and uncomfortable for sure.