Rolling the Dice

First month of actively trying to conceive.

So, I’m crossing my fingers and just hoping for an easy 1 time hurrah and we’re knocked up. This month I used fertility friend but I didn’t use any OPKs nor do temping. I did temping when I got pregnant the first time and it worked like a charm.

This time all I did was monitor the length of my previous cycles and my CM, and looked on fertility friend for my recommended fertile days.

When the CM started flowing out of control on day 10, I decided heck let’s go for it on day 11. My spouse and I call it “rolling the dice.”

I’m hoping I had enough CM ongoing to keep those swimmers alive for several days until I ovulated. I have no idea when I ovulated. I’m totally temping next month of this round didn’t work.

It’s insane how quickly I can go from 0 to 100 on reading everything about ovulation and pregnancy. I can’t stop. I’m a google machine. It’s like I must consume all the knowledge about everything and just wonder wonder wonder wonder. It’s sick really. I haven’t peed on any sticks or anything but I’m just at this WILL I BE PREGNANT point. Even if the sperm did meet the egg it’s not like implantation has even occurred.

On the one hand, I’m overly confident. On the other hand, I’m totally freaked out because I’m almost 4  years older! I’ll be 35 this Fall. Things are different. My spouse though isn’t too overly zealous about making this happen. I wouldn’t completely say dragging his feet… but he’s not like, hey let’s do everything we can to make it happen.

Anyway. I’m testing on May 14th. That will be CD 26 and most of my cycles have been 26-27 days long. During my first pregnancy I got a positive test on maybe 11 DPO. I can’t completely remember. I feel like my luteal phase was much shorter back then. I have no idea how long my luteal phase is now. I spent a ton of time googling that last night, if your  luteal phase can change from before pregnancy to after pregnancy. Because my cycle length sure did.

Anyway, I’m read to just get this over with. If this month didn’t work, I’m bringing out the big guns.

Though admittedly, it’s been hard to fall asleep as I obsess over how horrible the c-section was, the hospital stay, how much I hate newborns, breastfeeding, and the lack of sleep, and the pee and poop everywhere and the vomit and just all of that. I wish I could be pregnant for 2 years and pop out a toddler.

Anyway… fingers crossed.